you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize