I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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