My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
