Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize