It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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