She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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