All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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