I bet he comes in French.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
