We're like a lot better than the average bears
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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