Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a search helicopter?!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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