She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
