If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize