You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
