yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am available for nakedness
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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