like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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