What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
