their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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