my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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