Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
