She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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