Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
