do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
