It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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