hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
