Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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