so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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