Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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