We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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