i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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