3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
