There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
