I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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