If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
