Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
