No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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