Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
false alarm, still single
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