she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
