Are we in a gay sports bar?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
