and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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