I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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