its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
