does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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