we have pet lesbian snakes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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