ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
