I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
