I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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