Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
