can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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