Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
