She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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