i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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