Welp...herpes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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