Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He is an equal opportunity slut.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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