Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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