Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
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Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago