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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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• (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  What are best friends for?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago

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