i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
