A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...