After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
