She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions