i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now