erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
