Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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