I bet he comes in French.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
