We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
