A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Acid is not a monday night drug
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
