U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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