I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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