I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
