Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
