Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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