i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hippo gnu deer
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
