fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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